Sunday, Monday... Happy Days!
This was a post I started back in July. I have no idea why I never actually posted it on my site. So I updated it near the end and decided to use it for today's post. Is that considered cheating?
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I have a problem.
My beloved and adorable daughter, Googie, has picked up some less than desirable words in her quest to conquer the English language.
A few weeks ago, we were grocery shopping. Googie was happily riding in the shopping cart. A woman was approaching us from the opposite end of the store aisle. She reached out to pick up a canned good, but dropped it on the floor.
"Damn it!"
Stunned silence from all around. And all eyes turned to the person who uttered the expletive. Here's a hint... it was not the lady who dropped the can.
Yep. You guessed it. It was MY DAUGHTER!
Of course, those who know The Hub and I probably aren't truly surprised she said such a thing. After all, I've been known to let loose a verbal string of expletives that would make a seasoned sailor blush like a virgin on her wedding night.
Sometimes I blame it on my line of work. Things can get incredibly stressful in the control room. When your entire newscast is crashing and burning before your eyes, sometimes you just need to let it out.
But since having kids, The Hub and I decided we really needed to clean up our language. But we knew we couldn't just quit cold turkey. We needed to have some transition words for those stressful situations. We tried out the darns, rats, fooeys... they just didn't fit.
Then... somehow, someway... we came up with the following list of alternatives:
- Fonz or fonzin
- Joanie
- Chachi
- Potsie
Now, it shouldn't be hard to figure out how Fonz is used.... but, just in case there are some virgins out there who are actually reading my blog on their wedding night instead of getting down and dirty... Fonz is the fill-in for Fuck.
Fonz You! Mother Fonzer! I am so Fonzin tired of this bull!
So you get the idea, right?
Joanie is the more friendly version of bitch.
Wow, Jane is being such a Joanie today. She must be seriously PMSing.
Chachi is a little more interchangeable. It doesn't have a definitive spot. I just use it was a wildcard word.
John, I can't believe you just called me a Joanie! That really hurt my feelings you fonzin' Chachi!
Potsie usually stands for Prick or Ass, or just about anything. I just like the way it sounds.
Jamie was really being a Potsie during the meeting today.
So there you have it. Some suggestions if you happen to be looking for a way to clean up your language.
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I'm proud to report now, 4 months later, my daughter rarely, if ever mutters a single curse word. I must be doing something right!
