Playing Doctor

Google is a great tool. Heck, any good search engine is great! Google just happens to be my search enging of choice. But sometimes, these great little search engines and the information available online can be a very dangerous or scary thing.

Take for example what happened today. BB has been home with us now for almost 2 weeks. After having to leave him at the hospital every day for a week, it was so nice to get him home and in comfortable surroundings.

But on Saturday, poor little BB started puking. Everything. In. His. Stomach. For those of you with little or no experience with little ones, think about Linda Blair in "The Exorcist"... but imagine her as a 9 pound newborn and instead of split pea soup it's milk.

I figured the little man must have a stomach virus, as did the nurse who called me back Saturday. So, BB spent 24 hours drinking Pedialyte to fight dehydration. On Sunday, all seemed ok so he went back to enjoying his milk, with only a few "spit up" issues on Sunday and Monday.
But today, it was "The Exorcist Revisited" in our home.

This time, I felt sure BB had no stomach virus... but he was allergic to his formula. After all, I was allergic as a newborn... so was The Hub. Googie had to be on Soy Formula for a few months. I figured the apple didn't fall far from the tree in BB's case.

But the phone conversation I had with a nurse today was anything but reassuring when she said two words. Pyloric Stenosis. I was given an appointment to see the pediatrician almost immediately. But there was plenty of time for me to Google PS.

If you haven't already Googled the term by now, it's essentially a thickening of the muscles at the top of the stomach. Symptoms generaly start showing up by the 3rd week of life (BB is 18 days old as we speak). It affects caucasians, particularly firstborn males. And to remedy the problem, surgery is required.

So, a little knowedge can be a dangerous thing. I had about an hour and a half to mull all that over in my head before seeing a doctor. I was brought to tears before I even closed my laptop. Everything Cam seemed to be experiencing was all spelled out on the webpage Google had found for me. I was so scared.

I cried the whole way to the doctor's office, sobbing over the phone to a wonderful friend.

Was BB just trying to trump his big sister's 10 day stay in the NICU? Did he decide his 7 day stay in the hospital wasn't enough drama for him Mom and Dad? He was going to have to have surgery?

Thankfully, that does not appear to be the case. Given the family history, it seems to be a milk allergy (much as I suspected... thank you maternal instinct!). BB also has a bit of stridor (go ahead and Google that... I'm too tired to explain and it's after 1am...) and that, the doctor believes, is also contributing to reflux.

So the little man is on a super duper hypoallergenic formula and medicine to help with his reflux. It may take a week before we really notice a difference... but hopefully this will make everything better!

Just remember this little story the next time you hear some medical jargon and decide to play DotCom Doctor yourself. You could give yourself a heart attack!

Bringing Home Baby!

It's finally here! In just a few hours, BB will be home with us! He finished his last round of antibiotics this morning at 3am and we could have brought him home then... but it's so cold outside, I wanted to give it a bit of a chance to warm up!

So, The Hub is in the shower, I am about to put on makeup and fix my hair (have to look pretty for my little man) and then we're heading out!

A photographer from the station is meeting us there and will shoot video to run on the news this afternoon/evening, like we always do for our station babies!

I am so nervous/excited I can hardly stand it! Ok... no more typing! I must get ready... the sooner I'm ready the sooner we can leave... and the sooner we can bring our man home!

Healing

I was released from the hospital Sunday evening. The little man was born Thursday morning at 7:39 am and was a chunker at 9 pounds, 5 ounces. His resp. rate was pretty high (around 100, normal is about 60) so they ordered a chest x-ray and put him under an oxygen hood.

On Friday they repeated the x-ray and ran some blood tests. There was fluid in his left lung and the blood tests indicated an infection. A neonatalogist was called in for a second opinion and it was determined Baby Brother had pneumonia. Incidentally, the same thing happened to Googie after she was born, but she was much worse and was rushed to the NICU for 10 days.

So obviously normal and birth experience do not belong together for me. Well, I guess actually maybe this is the normal birth experience for me... having a baby, never having the baby come to your room, waiting 24 hours or so after birth before ever even being able to hold your baby, having very few visitors or phone calls... I experienced severe depression when Googie was born.

I realize when a baby is born, it's really the baby people come to see in the hospital... not the mother... and boy, when your baby can't be held by anyone, people evidently just don't even bother coming. When you are at possibly one of the lowest points of your life, with hormones raging, emotions running high because you are scared for the life of your child... you are alone. I lived it with Googie... and I got to re-live it this weekend with BB. I had several family members and very close friends who didn't bother to visit or even call to check on me. I'm definitely hurting a lot about that right now. It's like being kicked when you are down and damn if it doesn't hurt.

Add to that the anxiety and feeling of inadaquecy when you pump and pump and pump to get colostrum and milk going for your baby and you get nothing. So I feel like a failure at childbirth and a failure at breastfeeding. However, I now have a prescription for Reglan to help my milk come in and my feelings of general anxiety are getting better since I'm home and BB is doing so well. I know the anxiety will be resolved once he's home with me.

Well enough of that... I am working through those issues and dealing with my depression and moving on.

BB's x-ray was clear and his blood work was normal. That means, when his antibiotics are finished up on Thursday he should be coming home with us. For now, we go down to the hospital every morning for a few hours and The Hub is going back to work in the evenings for a few days to save his vacation time for when BB is home.

So Googie and I have some one on one time.

As for me, my epidural WORKED during this c-section. I am healing physically, and not anywhere near as sore as I was after my first c-section. I am sore and physically tired, but I really feel great. Mentally and emotionally will take some time, but I also have medication for that and a great doctor who listens to me.

Today is the day!!!!

It's just after 1am on Thursday, February 8, 2007. I'm supposed to be sleeping right now. I'm sleepy... but it ain't happening. In just less than 3 hours, my alarm will go off and I will get in the shower, finish packing my suitcase and we'll head to the hospital.

I am hours away from holding my son in my arms for the first time. Shortly after 7:30am, we expect BB to be delivered by c-section. I can't believe it's really here. I can't believe our happy family is almost complete. I can't believe I actually expected myself to be able to type something "profound" right now!

I'm hoping to be home sometime Sunday, if all goes well. Then I can get some pics posted of the little man.

Ok, time for me to try and take a nap!